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困境 (Plight)

by Tapioca

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1.
善有善报 恶有恶报 Light bulb hitting kitchen tile Tense like horse hairs strung in a bow Drawn slowly across wires Slouching towards intentions I grovel at candid statues Rescued from marble When they punch a mirror the world breaks with it They say the medication takes the edge off and i know they're right But a part of me wants to see how fat my brain can swell before popping it like a balloon Astrophil waited years for stella And im waiting too For years to wash over me and leave thinner welts Good or bad they prevent the sun from ever seeing my body When theres clouds the size of city hall i know how profound ramblings and coffee can be They carry the significance of a guernica And gesture instead of pose
2.
战争残酷 战争无情 站坐不安 没人受益 百姓寿命拿来赌博 没有胜利可言 只有苦,恶 只有哭,饿 为谁送命?为谁卖力? 为谁牺牲?为什么屠杀? 什么是敌人?什么是光荣? 寒风,巨龙,朴素,麻雀 小镇,荷花,镰刀,貔貅 名为谁创造?命为谁活? 利被谁维护?缘被谁注定? 天被谁撑?地被谁养育? 你有谁照顾?我有谁可靠? 爱是谁的祖先?恨是什么根源? (War is cruel, emotionless The discomfort brought on by standing, sitting Benefits no one To gamble with the life of the average person Means an inevitable loss Only bitter evils, Hungry, crying To gift my life and labour to who? To sacrifice and kill for what purpose? What is enemy and glory? North winds, dragons, humility, sparrows Remote villages, lotus flowers, sickles, mystic creatures Who created my name and who shall I live for? Who will protect this name and will they protect my fate as well? Who holds up the sky and nourishes the earth? Who cares for you and who can I rely on? Who traces their lineage to love and what is the genealogy of hatred?) Here are the tools, but why build? What brief Benefits from torture!
3.
Reaper, what do you sow? Im no victim, emboldened by my addictions Im just another martyr Honoured by Relics of medieval fate, hangovers a heritage Life affirming celebrations Bug trapped under glass Its not about preventing collision Its about surviving it All of a sudden, animated This pained withdrawal Vantage Providence Suffering from Cosmic truth Unreciprocated love Gentle indifference In my mind i know well enough what failure acts like in a river I carry myself in a burlap sack about the size of my wishes The glint off the hook…
4.
Enclosure 02:53
I grasp instead at the promise of salvation To feed my aching heart To liberate my throbbing corpse Apathy is boring Violence is there Dragging on the lake floor Pursuit of piety At the feet of holiness Deceptive saint Who cannot answer riddles Fake prophet for profit The wounded masses shuffling through the door
5.
Error Theory 03:45
Moving forward, glimpses of beauty illusions of grandeur They decay in decadence Muddied fatalism It hurts to be this far Next to me, you are Enact false gods to worship Dispense false blessings to reap Tides ebb with shyness Hide grief in dime bag castles Create, facades, blind seamstress Break, crusades, climb towers Myself, as prey, for fun Blinded by decline I refuse to bury the body It illuminates my room hundreds of sleepless nights thousands of shapeless dreams Bolt cutters not far from reach Far enough to seem the enemy Burnt money, sent away Confined, tortured Private hell, public view I circle you, a vulture Too scared to feast Too enticed to leave
6.
雷锋还活这儿吗 你来教我唱 你的武侠梦去过哪些江山吗 你的革命精神帮过我家的痛苦吗 分裂的白左审判过天坛前的供应吗 旋转的法轮不如在澳门的转盘 招罪的不是你,而是这系统的虚伪代言人 油锅里49天 我认识你眼睛里的恨 红领巾和小黄帽儿是我优良品质的一部分 但是我隐藏的是一个运动的误会 Is lei feng (communist revolutionary) still alive? Come teach me how to sing Have your wuxia dreams taken you across this landscape Have your revolutionary ideals helped with the suffering of my home Has the white left morally judged our offerings to the heavens? The rotating falun wheel proving inferior to the gambling wheels of macau Those punished arent you, but the disingenuous spokespeople of our systems In burning oil for 49 days I recognize the hate in your eyes Red scarves and yellow hats are a symbol of my upright morality But hidden beneath is the misunderstandings of the movement
7.
Dependant 02:10
The shotgun shells in my teeth mirroring modes of cultural production? Ill hang you higher than before Crying “liars!” At my door But define death In the death society Define life Copied from death Does hair rise like smoke to meet the wind Indicate object or motion? This’ll be the last time, I promised before i sank lower Into the couch cushions hoping For ceasefire. I miss the brittle trails which lead me west Firmly the sun grips my arm and drags me toward sober coastlines! At what hateful star do i place my bets At what sober moment do i confess my loneliness? I swear We give each other the courage to be ourselves I see right through you I have scars for eyes If u dont decide to change, everyone else will make that choice for you.
8.
Rimbaud 04:21
As I was floating down unconcerned Rivers I no longer felt myself steered by the haulers… Into the ferocious tide-rips Last winter, more absorbed than the minds of children, I ran! And the unmoored Peninsulas Never endured more triumphant clamourings The storm made bliss of my sea-borne awakenings… For ten nights, without once missing the foolish eye of the harbor lights! Sweeter than the flesh of sour apples to children, The green water penetrated my pinewood hull And washed me clean of the bluish wine-stains and the splashes of vomit, Carrying away both rudder and anchor. And from that time on I bathed in the Poem Of the Sea, star-infused and churned into milk, Devouring the green azures; where, entranced in pallid flotsam, A dreaming drowned man sometimes goes down; Where, suddenly dyeing the bluenesses, deliriums And slow rhythms under the gleams of the daylight, Stronger than alcohol, vaster than music Ferment the bitter rednesses of love! I have come to know the skies splitting with lightnings, and the waterspouts And the breakers and currents; I know the evening, And Dawn rising up like a flock of doves… I have seen the low-hanging sun speckled with mystic horrors. Lighting up long violet coagulations, Like the performers in very-antique dramas Waves rolling back into the distances their shiverings of venetian blinds! I have dreamed of the green night of the dazzled snows The kiss rising slowly to the eyes of the seas, The circulation of undreamed-of saps, And the yellow-blue awakenings of singing phosphorus! I have followed, for whole months on end… I have struck, do you realize, incredible Floridas… Downfalls of waters in the midst of the calm And distances cataracting down into abysses! Glaciers, suns of silver, waves of pearl, skies of red-hot coals!... Foam of flowers rocked my driftings And at times ineffable winds would lend me wings… The sea whose sobs sweetened my rollings Lifted its shadow-flowers with their yellow sucking disks toward me And I hung there like a kneeling woman... Lichens of sunlight with azure snot, Who ran, speckled with lunula of electricity, A crazy plank, with black sea-horses for escort, When Julys were crushing with cudgel blows Skies of ultramarine into burning funnels… Do you sleep, are you exiled in those bottomless nights, Million golden birds, O Life Force of the future? - But, truly, I have wept too much! The Dawns are heartbreaking. Every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter: Sharp love has swollen me up with heady langours. O let my keel split! O let me sink to the bottom! If there is one water in Europe I want, it is the Black cold pool where into the scented twilight A child squatting full of sadness, launches A boat as fragile as a butterfly in May. I can no more, bathed in your langours, O waves, Sail in the wake of the carriers of cottons, Nor undergo the pride of the flags and pennants, Nor pull past the horrible eyes of the hulks.

credits

released December 21, 2022

YJX - yelling
MKJ - shredding
TD - drumming / bass

recorded 08/2022 at Circle A studios

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Tapioca Victoria, British Columbia

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